Why Obsessing Over a Goal Destroys Your Chances of Achieving It

In my early twenties, I was obsessed with getting into incredible shape.

I wanted to be lean, strong, and defined more than anything.

I thought if I could finally reach that perfect physique, I’d be confident, happy, and fulfilled.

But the harder I pushed, the more I struggled.

*The left picture was when I was young and didn’t understand the key to achieving goals properly.

I’d tighten up, stress out, and constantly fall back.

I didn’t realize it then, but I had made my goal so important that it began to control me.

The Trap of Overimportance

When you make a goal the center of your identity, you stop living freely.

You start believing your happiness exists somewhere in the future…

After the achievement, after the transformation, after the validation.

That state of obsession creates tension in your body and mind.

You stop enjoying the process and start living in lack. Every moment becomes a reminder that you don’t yet have what you want.

Eckhart Tolle described it perfectly in The Power of Now.

“If you then become excessively focused on the goal, perhaps because you are seeking happiness, fulfillment, or a more complete sense of self in it, the Now is no longer honored… Your life’s journey is no longer an adventure, just an obsessive need to arrive.”

When you live like this, you move out of flow.

Your nervous system is in fight-or-flight mode.

You lose creativity, clarity, and confidence. You start forcing results, and the more you force, the more resistance you create.

In Reality Transurfing, this is called excess potential.

*I highly recommend picking up this intro to Reality Transurfing. I’m travelling in Italy and reading it now. I was just at a mastermind, and several attendees claimed this was one of the keys to their success.

You give the goal so much weight that the universe has to push back to balance the pressure you’ve created.

When You Put Something on a Pedestal

When you put something on a pedestal, you chain yourself to it.

The more pressure you place on the goal, the heavier it becomes.

When you release the overimportance, you free yourself to move naturally toward it.

Paradoxically, that’s when everything starts to flow.

When the need falls away, presence takes over. You move from a desperate chase to calm creation.

You’re no longer grasping for control, you’re letting life move with you.

The Internal Shift That Changes Everything

What changed my life wasn’t another tactic or training plan, it was an internal release.

I stopped trying to become something in the future and started honoring the step I was taking right now.

When I accepted myself fully in the moment, the tension dissolved.

*This was me in 2014, the year that my business really began to take off.

My body relaxed, my energy opened, and progress became effortless.

The irony is that when you stop needing the result, the result comes faster.

Because you’re no longer acting from fear, you’re acting from alignment.

You don’t create from desperation.

You create from wholeness.

How I Practice This Every Day

The most powerful way I’ve found to live this now is through a five-minute self-hypnosis I use every morning inside the Kinobody App.

*Note: Right now, you can save up to 30% on the Kino App.

I put in my headphones, close my eyes, and drop fully into presence.

It resets my breathing, my energy, and my focus.

It brings me back into balance.

Some mornings I’ll play it twice in a row.

The second round always goes deeper. I can feel myself letting go of tension, opening up, and aligning with the version of me that moves through life effortlessly.

It’s not about trying harder; it’s about remembering who you are when you stop trying.